The Globe and Mail, Report on Business
Published July 12, 2008

I've been reading Sports Illustrated for 40 years (since I was minus three years old). There are weeks when I don't get the Economist magazine read, but I never miss SI. In a recent issue, Chris Ballard wrote a brilliant column called Inconvenient Truths, in which he made an appeal for more honesty and transparency in sports.

"Just once, I want a wide receiver to confess he dropped a pass over the middle because 'that linebacker is a frickin' psycho!' "

"I want a slugger who has whiffed four times in a game to say, 'Hey, you try hitting a splitter with a wicked hangover.' "

"And I want the Los Angeles Clippers to forgo their lottery pick on draft day and explain, 'We were just going to screw it up anyway.' "

You can guess where I'm going with this. Business could also stand to dial up the transparency and candour a little.

In asset management, I want to hear a marketing executive say: "This fund has an excellent 10-year record, but we just changed the fund manager last week. We suggest you wait to buy." Or see a firm run an ad featuring their worst five funds over the past three years with the caption: "Among our 80 funds, this is where the opportunity lies." Or see them wave the deferred sales commission (DSC) on a fund because: "In good conscience, we can't charge any more for the pain this fund has caused."

I want to hear a bank executive say: "I know principal-protected notes aren't great for the client, but do you know how much we make on these things?"

Comments from portfolio managers aren't much more enlightening than a dressing room quote from a left winger. I want one of them to say: "The fund owns all five of the major banks because they all have a big weighting in the index." How about: "I regularly quote Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, but I don't invest anything like them." Or: "We got lucky on that one...we actually bought it as a yield play."

I want to hear a mega-fund manager admit that: "We own this stock because we don't have a hope of selling the millions of shares we own until it turns around."

I want to hear Avner Mandelman say: "What sleuthing? I bought it on a hunch."

And with his initial public offering behind him, it would be great to have Eric Sprott quoted as saying: "I don't give a damn what the second guessers think. I've got the best record on the Street and I'm worth a billion dollars."

Economists are smart, articulate and confident. But I want to hear BMO's Douglas Porter say: "I'm convinced real estate is turning down because I've had my house on the market for 45 days." I want Phillips Hager & North economist Patti Croft to say: "This forecast has almost zero chance of being right." And I desperately want Jeff Rubin of CIBC World Markets to say: "I'm not sure."

From the media world, I want a business editor to admit: "We don't really think the U.S. Federal Reserve has any meaningful influence on capital markets, but Fed-watching is a great page-filler."

Business executives are limited as to what they can say. There are disclosure rules to think about and they have to keep up the morale of employees and shareholders. But I'd like to hear a CEO, who is doing a road show for his company's IPO, say: "There is absolutely nothing strategic about this...the founders just wanted to cash out."

I want to hear a newly minted CEO say to the media: "We're reporting much better earnings, but it wasn't because of me. I haven't been here long enough to find my parking spot yet." Also on the earnings front, I want a CFO to acknowledge that the weather helped profits in the quarter.

I want to hear a CEO say: "We had some hard decisions to make and a couple of tough years ahead. It was easier to sell the company."

I want to hear a Bell or Telus spokesperson say to analysts: "The spectrum auction has all you guys worried about us losing a few points of market share in the next three years. We're going to lose five points of share to the iPhone in the next three months."

It's a stretch, but I want to hear an executive say: "We repriced our options in 2002 when things were in the tank. We are getting so ridiculously lucky with commodity prices now, I think we should move them back up."

I want to hear Gordon Nixon, the CEO of Royal Bank of Canada, say: "In a nutshell, our goal is absolute domination." And to hear Mark Hurd, the revered boss at Hewlett-Packard, say: "It was Carly's decision to buy Compaq that put us where we are today." And I want to hear Frank Stronach say: "I make $40-million a year because I'm the most important guy."

Oh, sorry Frank, you did say something like that. Good on you. Maybe there's hope at the end of the tunnel.